Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
