So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
