Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
