You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
