She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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