sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
