i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
