I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm passing your future prison.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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