We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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