Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
