Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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