3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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