even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
