Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize