He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
