Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
