FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
