i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm just crazy horny about you
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
