just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
