Can i not drive my cunt home
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
