It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
