My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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