Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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