I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
