after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
