We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize