yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize