I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
