Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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