did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
