Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
