Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize