i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
