before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize