No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
