I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
