I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there was a trapeze. enough said
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
