Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
True strength comes from lack of pants
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
