you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
