You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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