one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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