you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
