we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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