Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
