It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
