So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
