my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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