i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
