But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
