the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
