I can tuck mytits in my pants
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
