Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
