He had one of those small greek statue penises
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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