I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
