Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
