I'm eating all of the evidence.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize