perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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