You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
