You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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