He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
