when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Less talking, more tequila
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
