I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
