Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just pee around me
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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