You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
