Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
