sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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