I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
