have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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