Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize