i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize