guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
