Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
