My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
